batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I need to calm my uterus...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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