Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
