so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
