This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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