I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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