i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
