Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
