she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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