Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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