My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
