do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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