let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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