I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
