i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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