found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
