Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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