When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The adults are the big ones right?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
