He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
just found out that she named her cat after me.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
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