I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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