I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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