WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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