plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
