Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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