Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We just shotgunned beers for America
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
