i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
