Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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