its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
