Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
this is an emotional support booty call
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
