if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
