it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
