come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
