I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
