I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
