i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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