i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
