i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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