...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
