omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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