Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
