The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
