Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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