my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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