I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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