Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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