im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Actions speak louder than pants.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
