I don't think brook has ever known best
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
