I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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