Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
