I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
