I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
